In a World Without Rowena
by Bluebell67
Summary: What if Rowena had died in 11x10? How different would the world be?


In a World Without Rowena

Dean knew that something was wrong when he opened his eyes. The entire world had changed in a single blink. He was still lying there, in the warehouse. Memories flooded in. The most recent ones were messy, hard to understand, as if there were two versions of what had happened playing over each other. One of the only memories he has certain of was a fire. Crowley had done some sort of magic with the book. Castiel was standing across from Dean, his face illuminated orange.

"CAS?" Dean remembers saying.

"There is a spell- a binding that I learned about when I was hiding. I met one of those pagan Gods that you two were complaining about. He told me that I can just say the words, you get some of the vessel's blood, make sure he can't break it, and then lock him away. He can't do anything or leave you."

"Are you sure if it'll work?" Dean asked, staring into Castiel's frightened eyes. He didn't want to hurt Cas if he could avoid it, but this was necessary.

"For an angel, we need grace." Crowley yelled. Dean took a deep breath and stepped closer to the angels.

"Please, Cas, forgive me." Dean quickly cut the side of the vessel's throat. He winced, trying not to look away. Castiel trusted him, staying as steady as possible. Then, Castiel grabbed Dean's other hand, his grip so tight Dean thought that his hand might break.

"A way to control us is better than having the possibility of you...or Sam, being hurt."

Dean nodded, and got a bit of blood and grace into the vial. He capped it, and let go of Castiel's hand, which had started shaking. Dean wanted to go back to his best friend and help him, but he knew that he would just get in the way. Castiel blinked, then started shaking, like he was having a seizure, then Castiel was gone again.

Dean looked at that smirk and felt hatred filling his lungs, he couldn't breathe. He felt his own smile coming on… not a humorous one, but one that was almost sick feeling, more of a sneer. He found himself face to face with Castiel's older brother, not that you could call him a brother, Lucifer. Lucifer looked at the vial and his smirk almost faded.

"You can't hold me forever." He said. "This spell will only last for a while, until I burn it away like every other attempt on my life you've tried at. Amara isn't coming, is she?"

"No." Sam stated. "And you'll work for us now."

The holy fire vanished, Sam and Crowley putting the Men of Letter Handcuffs on Lucifer. He smiled at both of them. A smile he knew that would hurt them both. Dean stood there, in shock as they walked him to the car. Was this right? Was this what had happened? He had a faint memory of Rowena now… maybe she had done the spell, but they had failed… instead of trapping and controlling Lucifer, they had tried to eject him. Dean couldn't remember what was true, and what wasn't. Everything was blurry. He stood up, looking around. Chuck was lying on the floor, Sam was checking on him. Dean's hearing was muffled. His heartbeat, Sam's worried voice. Dean headed to the lifeless form of Castiel, leaning against a pillar.

A sudden burst of pain brought him back into his memories. They were in the Bunker now. Lucifer was in the Dungeon, pretending to sleep in the chair. Crowley and Sam watched him, both of their faces failingly hiding their hate. Dean felt more confused than anything. Looking at that… face and not seeing Castiel was impossible. It didn't seem to Dean that he was someone entirely different. Chuck looked on sadly, next to Dean.

"He won't work with us. I don't want to force him too, but…"

"I'd rather just kill him." Sam said. Dean looked at him, surprised.

"What about Cas?"

"It was Castiel's choice."

Dean was back in the present, still making his way to Castiel. He fell down to his knees next to the angel, the vial burning into his skin, around his neck. He shook Castiel's shoulder, but the angel didn't respond. Dean was thrown back into his memories, just an hour ago.

"This was all we could scrape together. A few demons, a few angels. It's just us, but we don't have the time or the ability to get more of an army. Amara has been waiting for long enough. She wants to get this over with." Chuck said. "And so do I."

"I'm ready to do this." Sam said, his voice shaking. Dean looked away, knowing what he was talking about, even though Dean hated the idea. Sam shouldn't have to know what the Mark of Cain was like, but they didn't have a choice.

"I can take the horn of Joshua." Crowley said. "I'm the only one who can."

"It will only work at it's full capacity if you are human." Chuck told him. Crowley didn't need to think.

"I'll do it." He said. Dean wondered what had made Crowley so… brave. It wasn't until now that Dean had noticed this new emotion on Crowley's face. Maybe it had been the abuse, or seeing his mother die right in front of him. He wasn't afraid. He was willing to do anything to stop Amara. He was like Sam. He was strong.

Dean wasn't sure how Crowley dealt with the flood of human feelings that Dean had when he had become human after being a demon. He did it, anyway. They all stood, facing the door, and Amara burst through. She had just faced the angels, Metatron, Crowley, and the demons, only scratched, which was better than nothing. Dean had a sinking feeling that everyone outside was dead. Amara went right to Chuck. Lucifer took his spear and stabbed her in the back. She was almost shocked by that and instantly turned angry, but everything was going the way they planned. All of that shattered with a quick movement.

"I have been murdered a million times and I would murder you a million more before going back there!" She screamed. Chuck vanished into light. Lucifer panicked, unsure of what to do. He ran at Amara. She turned around just before he reached her. He froze, a look of dread in his eyes. Dean watched as Amara put her hand on his chest. He screamed- it was terrifying. The light faded from his eyes and he fell to the ground. Amara made a turned back to Chuck, finishing him off. She looked back at Dean as Chuck hit the ground. She looked almost sad, but not understanding. Then she vanished. Dean remembered it differently again. He played that scene over and over again in his head, trying to figure out why it didn't seem real.

Dean was back to the real world. He was holding one of Castiel's bloody hands, which had been balled into a fist, now lose. Dean was searching for a pulse. Would he even have a pulse? Dean hoped Castiel didn't because he couldn't feel any sign of life. Castiel's eyes were closed. His other hand was on his chest, like he had tried to stop the bleeding. That is a lot of blood, Dean thought. A lot of blood. But what did blood mean to an angel, right?

Dean felt a push on his shoulder. Chuck kneeled beside Dean, what looked like a tear in the corner of his eye. "I-I've never seen an angel… this bad."

"His wings aren't on the floor yet. He's still alive."

"I wish he was… dead." Chuck said, his voice shaking. "I-I can't- he's not- neither of them- they'll both be… stuck. They can't move. They can't communicate. This would be a mercy killing…"

"No. We'll get Cas back. We'll get him back." Dean assured Chuck, knowing that wasn't true. Chuck tried to put his hand on Dean's shoulder, but Dean pushed him away, glaring. "You told me not to confuse you with my father, but you are exactly like him."

"Dean- I'm dying, but I can reach each of them. If you have anything you want to say…"

"Tell Lucifer to go to Hell."

"I'm afraid it's too late for that." Lucifer joked, coughing up blood. Dean turned around to see Chuck's hand on the angels' chest.

"Lucifer- son- I know it's too late to say sorry-"

"Really Father? J-Justin Bieber?"

"It's sadder that you understood that reference." Chuck shrugged.

"I'm never going to say that I forgive you."

"Then why did you bring it up?"

"Because… I need a good last line." He laughed, which turned into coughing up more blood. Dean looked away again. "Wait- Winchester. Your boyfriend wants to say something."

At those words, Dean rushed to his side. The transformation looked painful, but Dean felt his heart lift when he saw the face of the angel he loved.

"Castiel- hey- come on. Come back to me. You have to live, okay?"

"D-" Castiel tried. "Good… bye, D-Dea..."

"Wait! Cas- no! Hold on! You weren't finished yet."

"Dean, they're gone. We have to back away now. Samuel, can you help me?"

"Yeah." Sam said, helping Chuck stand. "Dean, listen to him."

"I'm not leaving his side."

"Amara might come back and finish us all."

Castiel started glowing… the usual sign that an angel was about to shed his wings.

"If you won't listen to Chuck, you have to listen to me." Sam said. "I know you loved him, but you are all I have left. We have to leave- now."

Dean stood up, unable to look away from his best friend. He followed Sam's voice. Sam was trying to reassure them. But they had nowhere to go. Castiel lit up, light falling across the floor. It faded, and two sets of wings were left there, burned on the ground, the last thing Dean saw before he left the warehouse, and waited for the end of the universe.

Dean wondered what it would be like… in those last few hours… if one tiny thing was different. Maybe Amara might have kidnapped Lucifer and tortured him until she found Castiel- Dean's weakness and his strength. Maybe, if Rowena hadn't been killed, everything would have unfolded differently. Rowena might have accidentally led Amara to Lucifer. Maybe then, Amara would have begun to understand what love was, when she felt the bond between her and Dean break when he saw what she had done to his best friend. Maybe Amara would have been inside his head and decided that Castiel would be better off with the Winchesters. He wouldn't have died, and the world would never have ended. Dean looked at Sam one last time as everything crumbled around them and wondered, what if. It was probably a good thing that Dean made all of this up in his head because he was bored, waiting for Sam, Castiel, Crowley, or Rowena to call him back. But he still was wondering- what if.


End file.
